The World of JWS

2005-11-14T15:03:00.000-05:00

The age of blogging is over.

Famous Quotes from not-so famous Home Schoolers

2005-10-29T10:45:00.000-04:00

Note that names are not given for reasons that are quite obvious.

John: What's the time?
Home schooler #1: Hold on... let me get my cell phone. (Pulls out cell phone so everyone can see.)

John: Hey man, is that you're car alarm going off?
Homeschooler #2: No, because I have my Ipod right here. (Points to his Ipod.)

Homeschooler #3: Can you whistle?
John: No response.

John: Hey, what's up?
Home schooler #4: The Sky! (Chuckles to himself for his original joke.)

Homeschooler #5: Hey John. I'm really mad right now cause I was going to withdraw money from the bank and buy a snow mobile, but I need like two hundred more dollars.
John: Hey... thanks for sharing that with me.

Home schooler #6: I'm engaged!
John: That looks like a promise ring to me, and aren't you like, what... fifteen?

Home schooler #7: Have you seen Sarah?
John (jokingly): Sorry man, she's way to young for you.
Home schooler #7 (seriously): No she's not.

John: I need to cut this.
Many homeschoolers, chorusing in: I GOT A KNIFE!

Why Blogger is Better

2005-10-24T11:12:00.000-04:00

“Oh John! You need a Xanga!”

“No I don’t. Leave me alone. Blogger is better.”

Well, I do have a Xanga despite my former oath not to use it, but blogger is still better, and I know from experience. Lets begin with the basics:

Un-organization – If you go to anyone’s Xanga, you’ll see that it is very unorganized. Things are un-capitalized, fonts are ugly, background pictures behind the font make the words invisible, and the templates (which are a slim variety) are all ugly not to mention un-matching. Take a look at this blog. Everything is nice and neat.

Lack of creativity – Blogging has been a source of spreading your ideas and thoughts, and at times, an open journal of daily life. Most Xanga’s users are rather lazy, and have left creativity out of posting. The only thing they can think about is “an open journal of daily life”. Sorry, folks, but people aren’t always interested in your biography. If I want to hear about what you did today, I’ll talk to you personally, I’m not going to read about it with that ugly pink font that hurts my eyes. Now this isn’t exactly all Xanga users fault that they journal (I have Xanga friends) Xanga’s just turned into that sort of blogging device, and thus users feel obligated to write their boring lives. (Even I journal now.)

Lack of communication – Blogs are a better way of keeping in touch, am I right? Well then how come Xanga users never respond to the actual post. Normally they just say “Just read your email. That’s sad about your rabbit. We have to hang out some time! Lots of love! –Bob B. Bobby.” Here on blogger we have a lot more intellectual conversation (even though they can at times be irrelevant and random.)

No Adds. Just your content. – Can anyone tell me how blogger survives without advertisements? I have no idea, but it’s great not having a huge flashing banner that says, “Get a Chick!” or “Free Ipod!” Funny how many times I’ve seen “free Ipod” on a banner, and I’ve never met anyone who actually hasn’t paid for their Ipod. As for “Get a Chick”… I doubt you could download such a thing.

Anyone can comment. – What’s blogging all about? Spreading your ideas, and seeing feedback. Well, if you want to comment on a Xanga, you'd better get an account. Here at blogger, commenting is free to anyone (even anonymous, who we all despise very much.)

So lets face it, although blogger may be more difficult to use in some ways, it is better.

It's Over Now

2005-10-22T19:27:00.000-04:00

It's over now, the music of the night.

Answer me this:

2005-10-20T09:07:00.000-04:00

Why don't they just take out that one calorie?

Good News and Bad News

2005-10-13T12:28:00.000-04:00

You can never catch the same cold twice! (Unfortunately there are more than 200 hundred different colds to catch.)

The bad news is, there is no good news

The Earth

2005-10-10T12:11:00.000-04:00

The Earth spins 1,038 miles per hour...
No wonder I'm so dizzy.

We've Survived

2005-10-07T15:37:00.000-04:00

Well people, it's October. Something happened last year this month that few of my readers may realize—jwsikma.blogspot.com was born. It made a good beginning, but bloggers block quickly consumed me, and I simply wasn't inspired to write any more. In December, it closed it's doors "forever".

Strangely, I missed blogging, and so that's 's how JWS started again, in February, 2005. But little did I know I would encounter more problems than I expected, and they weren't bloggers block. I faced a mutiny from the penguins, I faced a copyright steal, I faced a take over from the commenters, I faced selling my site to Tsong Ching Tou. And yet, through it all, everything worked out, and here we are today. We've had technical difficulties including "html code" problems and "comment server" changes. We've had criticisms on spelling, and criticisms on posts, but we've survived it all.

JWS has been proud to bring the world seventy three entertaining posts since it restarted in February. We've brought in 1,000 (mostly irrelevantt, worthless) comments, and have been viewed more than 10,000 times from you and other random people. We've stayed on the top of Googles blog search for"JWS" and plan to stay there as long as this blog is alive.

They Call Themselves the "Path Clearers"

2005-10-04T10:57:00.000-04:00

Yes, it’s an awkward moment. One that may have happened just this past week, or is waiting to happen this very hour. We call it the “Simultaneous Dodge Effect.” Oh yes, you know what I speak of. You experience it when you’re pleasantly making your way down a hallway. Then, to your sudden realization, a pedestrian is walking towards you, in your very path. Instantly, panic strikes you--what if you run into this person? “Of course not,” you say to calm yourself. Quickly, in just two split seconds your brain throws together two ideas. You must either:

a.) Walk to the right of the pedestrian, or
b.) Keep going straight and hope he moves out of the way

You decide to go with a.) since it seems the more courteous and sensible thing to do. But in the exact moment you make your move to the right, the pedestrian moves in the exact same direction (obviously thinking just what you were thinking.) Again, you are now both in each other paths, and again one must move so the other can pass. You don’t have much time to think this over, so you quickly move to the left, but to your horror, the pedestrian does the same thing. This time you stop completely. Surely, the pedestrian will feel free to move by, and thus prevent any collision. But no, the pedestrian does not--he stops, just as you have. By now you both feel very humiliated. You both give up trying to pass each other, and sit down on the floor. You’re both almost in tears from all the stress that has happened in just four seconds.

You may never know when a pedestrian may be walking in you very path...

You shouldn’t have to suffer. That’s why JWS is proud to bring you the solution. We call them the Path Clearers. The Path clearers are always out there for you protection against the Simultaneous Dodge Effect. Two men in front, always there, always ready.

An Interesting Dialogue

2005-09-30T15:47:00.000-04:00

The time: 12:30 AM
The Place: My bedroom
The People involved: My brother and I

I could tell Peter was sleeping because he was breathing quite heavily. I, however, had not been so lucky in falling asleep. But then, just as I was starting to drift, something happened that I hadn't counted on. Peter started sleep talking, and this is what he said.

Peter: Those monkeys are coming.

I could have simply ignored this strange comment, and then fallen asleep myself, but I couldn't pass this interesting opportunity to mess with his mind.

Me: Why are the monkeys coming?
Peter: What?
Me: Why are the monkeys coming?
Peter (moaning): No... Who are you?

This wasn't going anywhere. But it was rather entertaining.

Me: I'm a ghost.
Peter: A ghost?
Me: Yes, a ghost.
Peter (rather alert): Where?
Me: Under the bed.
Peter (now becoming angry): NO! Who is this?
Me: I told you, a ghost.
Peter (nearly shouting): NO! YOU'RE MY STUPID BROTHER WHO WON'T SHUT UP!!!
John: Hey man, you started the conversation.

But the conversation was now over. It was apparent that he was conscious enough to kill me.

Have I lost My Creativity, or Have I Just Gone Nuts?

2005-09-27T22:44:00.000-04:00

I don't know.

Lovely Poetry

2005-09-27T13:19:00.000-04:00

I know a girl who picks her nose.
She'll make you breakfast, she'll make you toast
But she don't use butter and she don't use cheese
She don't use jelly or any of these
She uses vaseline vaseline vaseline

I know a guy who goes to shows
When he's at home and he blows his nose
He don't use tissues or his sleeve
He don't use napkins or any of these
He uses magazines magazines magazines magazines magazines

I know a girl who reminds me of Cher
She's always changing the color of her hair
She don't use nothing that you buy at the store
She likes her hair to be real orange
She uses tangerines tangerines tangerines tangerines tangerines tangerines

The Flaming Lips

Yes, it's very true

2005-09-26T12:02:00.000-04:00

I was hungry so I ate the apple of this guys eye. It was delicious.

Bob the Builder!

2005-09-21T17:25:00.000-04:00

Can he fix it? Yes he can! Every time this world has a problem, preschool hero Bob the Builder is on the move. So can he fix it? Of course! Jerry Frank had a cat problem. He explained it much like this: “My cat kept on multiplying itself. I don’t know how it worked, but I knew it must be stopped because I couldn’t take care of millions and billions and trillions of cats.” One day Frank went to the vet. The doctor explained the situation to him. “I really am thankful for Bob the Builder. He came along and fixed my cat with mere hammer and nails.” So can Bob really fix anything? I think we can all safely say: "Yes he can!"

The Whole World Can Talk for Free

2005-09-18T15:06:00.000-04:00

There are some things that can't be said through Instant Messenging. Or perhaps, are said, but misunderstood (you've been there). That's why it's about time all you Instant Messenging people out there hook yourselves up with the latest in internet communication: Skype! All you need is a microphone--everything else is absolutely free. My friend from Massachusetts and I like talking while we check our email or work on web pages. I can't stand using my shoulder to hold the phone to my hear while I type, and then there's the long distance downfall of it. But with Skype, it doesn't matter if your from France-- talk is cheaper than free. James, Mark and I have already got hooked up with it, it's about time all you folks do too.

Mailbag

2005-09-14T20:22:00.000-04:00

Well everyone, it’s that time of year again—time to pull out the mailbag and take a look at all those questions, comments, and snotty remarks from my darling readers.

________________

Dear JWS,

I saw your banner on your web site. Is green fire something to do with the devil? Cause it looks like it. If so, I’m utterly disappointed in you.

- Sadtu C. Yoursite

Dear Sadtu C. Mysite,

Well Sally, I don’t know much about the devils flames, but I’m quite amazed how much first-hand knowledge you have on the subject. I will say that you probably suffer from paranoia. This disease varies in different cases, but generally paranoia is a constant illogical suspicion and/or fear. Some of the symptoms of the disease are:

You think that that one person with the newspaper is watching you
You fear that that one person with the umbrella is stalking you
You fear that the JWS banner is satanic

The only way to relieve yourself of this disease is to remember that I’m watching you everywhere you go.

-JWS

________________

Dear JWS,

I find that savoring each sip of fine wine can enhance the flavor and be a luxurious enjoyment.

- Experienced Winist

Dear Winest,

We generally discourage the consumption of alcoholic beverages and its influence on this website, but we appreciate your input.

- JWS

_________________

Dear JWS,

I have been going to your site frequently and have found that the name “Bob B. Bobby” appears quite often—normally as a completely different character. I don’t understand this. Can you explain it?

- Perplexed Jerry

Dear Perplexed Jerry,

What part of “Bob” don’t you understand? Thanks to your dim-witted question no one will ever know the true being of Bob. B. Bobby. His title shall hereby remain a mystery forever more.

- JWS

_________________

Dear JWS,

I have been informed that there’s pot on the other side of the rainbow. If this is true, how do I get there?

- Mr. Informed

Dear Ms. Informed,

I’m afraid the phrase is, ‘there’s a pot of gold on the other side of the rainbow’ and I’m not quite sure how to get there. Even corrected, the phrase makes little sense.

- JWS

The Wheels on the Bus Go 'Round and 'Round

2005-09-09T22:43:00.000-04:00

Have you ever been stuck on a bus filled with a bunch of homeschoolers? Lets just say it isn't a normal bus trip. Homeschoolers have never ridden on a bus, and to them it's a par-tay.

It began at three in the morning. I had received around one hour of sleep because Patrick Fagan (our car pooler) talked most of the night before we left. But soon we were on the bus, heading to Six Flags Great America to march in the amusement park. And let me tell you, Homeschoolers are crazy on the bus. On the way there the highlights were singing "the wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round" and "good-night ladies". Of course there were also some morons singing "99 bottles of beer on the wall" (they did get to zero unfortunately without being shot to death.) Then of course there was the time when we body surfed John Reiger down the bus (he almost fell when he got to a homeschool dad).

We finally arrived in Six Flags disgruntled and alarmed (why? I have no idea, Pete told me to say that). We got out, got our instruments, warmed up, and hit the park. There we played while everyone screamed on the rides (no one really listened to us.) Then we headed back to the bus to get changed. It turned out that I didn't bring my casual shoes... So it looked like I was going to go around in the park with my black marching shoes! FUN! Everyone had to laugh about that. Thankfully Andrew Carabellise leant me his flip flops (which I broke later.) We hit a bunch of rides, but how would I explain that? "Wheeehoooo! Yeah! AHHHHH!"

Alright, so then we got back on the bus, all tired out. This time Pete and I sang "Yellow Submarine" and "The Sounds of Silence". Then our bus went to the mall so we could grab a bite to eat. Some kids went into Hot Topic (that Goth store) and I sneezed. For some reason I said "I'm allergic to goths." The whole place became strangely quiet, I'm never going in there again.

We got on the bus again and this time I actually got some more shut eye. It was a really strange sensation waking up though. I heard voices laughing at me and I could taste a really strange minty sensation in my mouth. My eyes lids parted and there staring at me were six or seven kids. My mouth was half stuffed with Altoids (the curiously strong mints). I guess they had a competition for how many mints they could stuff in my mouth before I woke up. I got the record at eight mints. It goes to show I'm a very heavy sleeper.

Random

2005-09-05T17:22:00.000-04:00

I'm officially home now, and since Peter posted some of the Maranatha pictures on his blog, I won't waste time posting them a second time (although I do wish I could put things in my own words.) So those are up at peters blog: Pro Action Pics.

Well, we've got some good news for all my commenters. The grounding has lifted and you are now free to leave comments again. Although I'd prefer you not to post spam such as: "Hey person! I really liked your blog although mine is better, so visit it here: lamest-blog-in-the-whole-world.com. Thanks for stopping by!" And of course I'd prefer it if you would stop leaving comments like song lyrics and other nonesense that lacks humor. Any other comment, random though it may be, is of course welcome.

And now let's get down to business. This post is called "Random." Why is that? Because I was too lazy to post about anything else, so I just decided to have a completely random post. This will include random pictures, random articles, and random... stuff (couldn't think of a good third reason). It would have looked a lot more professional if I had three reasons, but anyway, random stuff from around the world (but especially from JWS world).

112-foot-tall Guitar-Shaped Sign Stands through Hurricane Katrina

Debris from Hurricane Katrina litters the road along casino row in Biloxi, Miss., Tuesday. The storm caused major damage to the soon-to-open Hard Rock Casino and other gambling resorts on the Mississippi coast. The 112-foot-tall guitar-shaped sign in front of the casino, made by Kojis and Sons Sign Co. in Bunkie, survived the storm.

Enough Evidence to Sink Birns Law Career like the Titanic

This image has been deleted by blog adminstrator for purposes that cannot be explained.

Brian and Birn sit on the bridge over the Grand River awaiting the fireworks on Fourth of July

Pete and I playing some rugby... and could that be Gordon behind us?

Courtesy of Pro Action Pete's Photo Editing

Random Quote:

Evie Lanning to Little Ceasers Pizza Workers: Can I have some ice?
Employee: Um... you want to buy a cup?
Evie: No, I just need some ice. It's for my hand. A bee stung me.
Employee looking at other employee: I'm not sure if I can do that.
Brian in the background: What do you think girl! Ice doesn't grow on trees ya know.

You're all grounded from commenting

2005-09-03T21:22:00.000-04:00

So there

Busy, busy, busy

2005-08-19T13:56:00.000-04:00

JWS will be in Marantha Christian Camp for a week to hang amongst the home school kiddos. Then, after returning to Grand Rapids, his butler will do his laundry, and then pack him up for a business trip up north. That is all he has time to dictate to his butler for now because he must go off to a Tigers game with Notliberal (otherwise known as Steve) and the gang from the ARP (note that he will not be cheering for the Tigers). He does hope to have a chance to post, but if not, you will certainly know why. He also would like to give the most heart felt condolences to Cramp Bottom and Loretta for being forced out of the blogging world. He would like to thank Cramp for fixing Erika (not fix as in a dog fix, but as in grammatical and spelling fix.) That is all.
Sincerely,

JWS's Secretary

Apple Advances

2005-08-15T22:40:00.000-04:00

After years and years of using the lame "one click does it all" mouse, Macintosh finally advances to a "double click system". Although most webbed fingered people are angered at this new leap to un-lameness, the new product will appeal to the general public, which makes all the difference. One small step for Macintosh, one great leap from lameness.

Memo:

2005-08-11T17:34:00.000-04:00

To: The Dreaded Penguin
From: JWS

Your highness,

We believe that you've offended far too many people through your blog, so we suggest that you fire everyone in your public relations department.

Thank you, and have a good day.

New Law Inforced by the JWS Penguin

2005-08-09T12:14:00.000-04:00

Nose picking in public is hereby an unlawful act. This especially includes nose picking performed inside a vehicle. I, Tux the JWS mascot remind you people out there that although you are indeed inside of your car, you are not completely invisible. We, the civilized society, may spot you digging for “gold” at the stoplight. We ask that you perform your barbarious acts in the comfort of your home. That is all.

- The Penguin

Tsong Ching Tou Resigns

2005-08-08T11:43:00.000-04:00

It appears that many of the JWS readers view this blog for what they call “content”. Apparently, they didn’t find much of that in Tsong Ching Tou’s post (how they find content in any of these posts is beyond me). Statistics have proven that the JWS ratings have decreased to more than five times less than before JWS sold the blog. Other fans have written Tou, saying that the blog has turned “weird now” and lacked "meaning". So Tou, taking the offense to heart, resigned this morning, handing the rights back to JWS. When John asked why he gave in so easily to the publicity, he replied, “楼;船尾;腿的要害”. “I nodded my head as if I knew exactly what he was talking about.” John said. “It was one of the more awkward moments of my life.” So the papers are signed, and now you can enjoy more posts with sufficient “content”. Normal JWS posts resume tomorrow if everything goes well. Could life get any better? I submit that it cannot.

;愚不可及

2005-08-05T22:41:00.000-04:00

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Legal Rights of JWS

2005-08-05T10:44:00.000-04:00

This is to verify that JWS and all the rights and privileges thereof belong to Tsong Ching Tou who has hereby bought the company for five yen. This includes the JWS banner, the official JWS mascot, and all the original past posts of John William. All identity to John W. Sikma will now be replaced with Tsong Ching Tou’s, but reference to John W. Sikma will remain through the posts.

All the documents have been signed, and Tsong Ching Tou’s posts will begin tomorrow. Thank you,

Bob B. Bobby, Tsong Ching Tou’s lawyer

The Last Real JWS Post

2005-08-03T20:33:00.000-04:00

Tsong Ching Tou said...
me bid five
yen on blog

There’s something I don’t understand. I went into the bank yesterday, and guess what I saw that really makes me sick? The pens were chained to the counter, and I looked over my shoulder and I noticed that the vault was wide open. It reminded me of the Dutch only they at least know what’s more important. I bet the bankers have only fifth/thirds the brains they really need—wait a second—I mean, three/fifths of the brains… okay… okay… you’re not laughing, you just can’t, I mean, how could you? This is the last JWS post, and there’s nothing really funny about it, I know. But it’s time to take a deep breath… relax. JWS isn’t going anywhere, in fact, jwsikma.blogspot.com will always be here. The familiar green banner, the penguin, my profile picture…the only thing that will change is that a man by the name of Tsong Ching Tou will now be the official writer and I will be going off as a depressed vagabond in search of the true meaning of life. Tsong Ching Tou insists that nothing will change, he will even attempt to write in the same “JWS” style. So it’s okay, JWS will always be there for you. And who knows, maybe someday—someday I’ll return. But until then…

Comments Reach an All Time Low

2005-08-01T17:13:00.000-04:00

It was a thing most unheard of… and yet, there it was, all the same. The statistics were always right—the statistics never lied. JWS’s comments had decreased gradually, and now had fallen to an all time low.

Every true blogger knows that comments are the gasoline of blogging. They’re what keeps the writer pressing on. They inform the writer that people are reading the blog. They give the writer ideas and encouragement. Without comments, a blog is like a bankrupt company, and that’s just what it was starting to look like at JWS.

“I knew it was happening.” John said at the JWS convention earlier this week. “Ever since my writing slowed down, I just knew the comments would go as well.”

John just wasn’t ready to take the news though, no matter how he knew it would happen.

“You know when people are mad in movies, they throw rocks in the water?” He said (John often compared things to the cinima). “Yeah, well I was throwing rocks at people.” But John's anger slowly came to an end, and he began taking the news like a man. “I understand now, I just got to move on and start thinking about selling JWS to some other association. I just don’t know if I’ll be able to part with the thing.”

There is no turning back or ignoring the fact, JWS is slowly but surely coming to an end. The auction begins now.

How far does your JWS pride go?

2005-07-30T13:59:00.000-04:00

Here's to them!

2005-07-23T22:43:00.000-04:00

I’d like to take some time out of my normal ranting, and dedicate this post to all those who have died in London and Egypt at the hands of the blood thirsty Islamic terrorists. May their deaths not be in vain, let the world know who these “peaceful” people really are. In the midst of confusion, I thank God for those who are doing their best to protect America and the world (yes, even those security folks at the airports no matter how annoying and inconvenient they are). I pray for President Bush, man of faith, who seeks to end this violence. I pray for our soldiers in Iraq, who lay down their lives each day for the price of freedom.

God bless America, even though it deserves no blessing.

I'm Home

2005-07-22T23:33:00.000-04:00

As most of you all know, I have returned to my home in Grand Rapids Michigan after a long stay with my mothers family in California. Since I'm not in a very creative mood and have nothing really funny to say, I suggest you to just leave a comment that makes no sense and is totally irrelevant (well, I suppose I don’t need to ask for it, you know perfectly well how to leave such a c omment) and go visit some other blog. Perhaps if you're in the mood for some sarcastic remarks you'd like to visit Loretta's Blog. Or maybe you're high on opium, in this case, you might enjoy Evie's blog. If you're feeling a little crazy, you'd probably like to visit James’, because as it says at the top of the page, "It's not a web brog, it's an institution." (Nathan knows a lot about psychological dysfunction as well because he works at an institution, so go ahead and visit his too). If you want a dose of depression, then I'd highly recommend Maggie’s, because as we all know, Maggie has a very depressing blog. All these blogs are found on my side bar. Don't forget to read the Line of the Week.

And if any of you highly sensitive bloggers were hurt by my remarks against your blogs (why you would, I have no idea), then I suggest you to not read this blog, because its never very serious.

Well, that's it for J dub (the real J dub, James is just a wannabe.) I'll be back, with a normal, entertaining JWS post as soon as I can (after camping maybe?)

Report from California

2005-07-19T17:03:00.000-04:00

This will be my final post from the golden state of California. In this post I will give report of the highlights of my trip, although it will be expressed more through photos than words. So sit back, relax, and enjoy!

[For more detail, click on the pictures for a larger view]

Our trip to Chicago's airport comes to a close as the cities proud horizon appears

Having nothing more to do in Chicago, I stand in the airport, with my arms up lifted (who knows why)
Lynette and I flying from Sacramento to Stockton California in my Grandpas plane (ahem... excuse me... I mean the private JWS jet)

Soaking up the sun in my Grandparents lawn
My aunt Deanna's wedding in the vineyards of California
Exchanging the vows (this picture is up only for the females interest)
Mom: Bride's Maid
Lynette, my sis: another Bride's Maid

Lynette and my uncle Duane dancing at the reception

No one to dance with pitiful me

Ah, yes, but no one to dance with pitiful Peter either (and how does he do that with his face?)
The hills really are alive with the sound of music, that is, if you're screaming songs at the top of your lungs (and even then, they don't echo). After the wedding, Dad, Lynette, Peter and I head to the hills for fun. Here Pete and I do what no one else would do
Have you ever jumped off a thirty foot cliff into refreshing pools of water? My dad makes the first jump into Rainbow Pools, and I try not to think about my turn
My sister makes her jump with a scream. Now it's my turn, but it looks more like suicide than fun
I look down from the ledge, the dark waters looked a long way down. I looked back--faces loomed back at me. They were watching and waiting... I had to leap Finally after the long fall, I met the water with a hard landing, but when I broke the surface for air, I remembered the feeling I had falling. It was sickening, and yet somehow fun now that I thought about it
If you preferred a more comfortable landing from a lower point, you'd probably take the natural water slide from the water fall. It was an amazing experience to fall with the water fall and land comfortably. Lynette and I managed after some time to go behind the waterfall after falling from it. It was an awesome scene behind it. A nice little ledge to sit on, with water falling all around you
Lynette and I making our way to the top of the cliff for more jumping action

Back in Ripon CA, archaeologists discover an ancient Eggo pastry from the last millennium in Duane's prehistoric refrigerator. Details are vague, but some reports reveal that it was left there from the last two times Peter and John stayed at their uncles house

Now my trip in California is nearing to an end, so I sit here, the last day, trying to shut from my mind the humidity in Michigan.

Popularity of JWS Grows

2005-07-12T21:07:00.000-04:00

It was one of the strangest things John had ever heard of, and yet, perhaps he hadn't heard it. Perhaps his personal advisor, who seemed to be leaning into his ear and whispering, was a figment of his imagination... or perhaps not. It seemed it wasn't a dream, because the man was chewing M & M's, and dreams were better than that, unless this was a nightmare. John had often logged on to "Stat Counter", (a devise that tracked down his users) and seen strange loggers who accidentally stumbled across his blog. But those "accidental loggers" didn't often revisit his blog.

Stat Counter shows the position of the viewer in Thessaloniki Greece

But what John's personal advisor had whispered, was that one logger had revisited his blog 18 times (using one computer). His location? Thessaloniki, Greece. Visit time? Three minutes and twenty three seconds. His Windows type? XP. His resolution size? 1024 x 768. His sock color? Light green. The official JWS blog appeared to be popular with Greecians! Why? He thought, as he stroked his mustache (which he didn't seem to have yet). Why was this blog popular with Greecians? To this day, the mystery remains.

How I Love Flights

2005-07-08T20:52:00.000-04:00

I was never much of a morning person, but on the day in which this all takes place, I somehow got up. Perhaps it was because I was leaving on a jet plane to California, or perhaps it was just because Peter, my very annoying brother, whacked me on the head. Either way, I got up.

It was too bad the Sikma family had to drive all the way to Chicago for the flight-it would have been much more comfortable and quick to leave from Gerald R. Ford's airport. But we arrived, and that's all that matters. Soon we were aboard a plane to Minneapolis. On this flight, we were abused and discriminated by the first class. They provided the first class with their own bathrooms (which we weren't allowed to enter). As for the second class, they were thoughtful enough to give us windows I suppose. But that didn't ruin our morale. We would make it, I knew we would. The pilot said we were ready for landing.

At the Minneapolis airport we had a three hour delay. This came in handy for me, because this airport had a "moving walk way" for speedy travel throughout the building. I enjoyed walking backwards on the walk way, until a guard picked me up. My mother explained that I was "growing". She often uses that excuse for times when I'm in pain, or times when I'm tired. This was a misplaced use, but the guard must have thought we were both a little loony, and for some reason, let us go.

Finally, it was time for us to get on the plane to Sacramento. The flight was going splendid. I was looking forward to a nice Coca cola. The flight attendant came near me, and I unlatched my tray table in eager expectation. "Oh, don't bother." She said. "When we learned we could get away with giving you people a half of a can watered down with ice, we figured we could get away with anything." I sat there, waiting for something disastrous to happen. She pulled out a soda, opened, it, drank it, and burped in my face. For some reason, it was kind of refreshing. The rest of the flight went rather well, until a Muslim had a sudden urge to high jack the plane (let me note that the security skipped him because no one wanted to discriminate against him. The security did however check an old lady. Good thing too, because she had a needle). After the Muslim tried flying for some time, the plane went into a tail spin, crashed in a desert, and everyone died. Except me. Thankfully, I had my tray table up, and my seat back in the full upright position.

Set Backs have Set Us Back

2005-06-26T14:26:00.000-04:00

The president of JWS has been very busy lately. Due to this fact, his posts will be infrequent. Many of his readers will have to wait a whole week before he gets back in business. John William Sikma will be going to Lansing for a week to run around in the capitol with other homeschool kiddies, discussing political things and all that. So in case you are waiting for one of his posts in eager expectation... too bad. So yes, he doesn't have time for a nice entertaining post, that is true, but he does have time to share some of brothers work at the Acton Organization:

Business and Virtue in Batman Begins

By Benjamin Sikma

Well dear friends, that is all.

- JWS, signing off...

A Startling Fact

2005-06-19T21:28:00.000-04:00

Somewhat recent studies and surveys reveal a startling fact: popular rock and/or roll music is the cause of the violence in the present society of this world. But with this piece of information, we must ask an important question: what did Hilter have in his CD changer?

“Truly Wonderful! Pure Magic!”

2005-06-14T18:46:00.000-04:00

“Isn’t it reassuring that some things just get better and better?” Those were the words John William uttered when he first heard the new album of Coldplay (note that the CD was illegally copied.) Coldplay is back with it’s third collection of moving music. The album, “X & Y” named for its theme of two sides of love and loss, is jammed with sixteen amazing tracks that inspire and touch the soul to boundaries never touched before. Most bands run out of songs at the number twelve, but not Coldplay. “X & Y” even has what band member Johnny calls a “sandwich break” because of its extensive length. Therefore, because of the time-span, the CD works as a great repellent for those who despise Coldplay (like Gordon Miskin or James Lanning who call it "Gayplay"). And if it doesn’t drive those “lovers of unmusical music” away, just hit the play button and listen to it all over again. “This must be the climax of Coldplay’s work—there’s no room for improvement!” John proclaimed as police hauled him off to jail for illegally copying the CD. “Truly wonderful! Pure magic!”

Ah, DSL

2005-06-13T23:46:00.000-04:00

This post is different, although you really couldn't tell that just by looking at it. This post has been written in a place that no "JWS" post has ever been written. Right inside my sisters bedroom, and the weird thing is, Lynette's on the phone. That's right, the Sikma house hold has DSL. Perhaps this update of internet connection will encurage John to write more on this blog, who knows? Although you may think this post is egotistical, and un-John like, I just couldn't resist to post it... it's just so awesome. (Might I mention that only because of James' hacking skills is it possible for this to be happening.) Well, that is all.

An Angry JWS Post

2005-06-10T15:21:00.000-04:00

I’ve received many critiques on this blog. Mostly corrections on spelling errors and the like. I don’t mind these critiques since people have the right to correct a fourteen-year-old before he goes out in the world to follow his dreams. But what I don’t like, and in fact hate, is cowards critiquing me behind my back. Of course, I’ve never seen that (since it is done behind my back)… well, I haven’t seen it—that is—until earlier this evening.

Periodically through the week, I take the time out of my evenings to either check my e-mail, post on my blog, or examine the comments on my blog. On the night in which this account begins, I didn’t feel like communicating with friends, I was feeling lazy, and didn’t much care to post, so I decided to check my comments. I could easily check the remarks of my readers from my g-mail account since they are sent directly there. But since I enjoy the full effect of viewing them, I normally check the remarks directly from my web site. So I typed in “jwsikma” as usual, but in my haste, missed the “.blogspot.com” after it. The result was a yahoo search, which revealed a lot of random “jwsikma” hits, including my site. But what caught my eye was not the normal ‘Welcome to the World of JWS’ link, but another… directly above it.

“Nate the Saint” it said. And beneath it, the link to my site, and a paragraph about it. In my curiosity, I clicked on this ‘Nate the Saint’ link. This was a mistake, since it resulted in anger. But how could resist? It was much too impossible.

It turns out that this “Nate the Saint”, isn’t much of a saint at all. Being a 29-year-old democrat from Philadelphia, and having no life whatsoever, he spends most of his lifeless life ridiculing other weblogs. Mine was one of those ‘unfortunate’ blogs he critiqued. The following is a fraction of the post on his blog and also the comment he made on another, which he compared to JWS.

"Truth on Iraq, http://truthonirag.blogspot.com/. All right! I caught a Texas-based rightwing nut with poor grammar and spelling real early in this expedition. This is better than running into two four-foot-long black rat snakes my first morning on the Appalachian Trail."

"John William, http://jwsikma.blogspot.com/. He and "Truth in Iraq" man ought to swap information and unused copies of "Hooked on Phonics." I wonder if they're in the same 527 or if ultraconservatives with poor grammar and spelling are far more common in the blogosphere than I thought. But at least he consistently mispells "discussing," which shows his ignorance comes not from error but from a bad education. "

(When have I misspelled "discussing"? And btw Nate, "misspells" has two s's. Talk about a bad education.)

Click here to visit "Saint Nates" blog (Note that since Nate is a democrat, his writing can be vulgar. But give him snotty comments if you wish. He needs them more than I.) Nate’s mockery of the JWS establishment was very witty, clever, and true. But since he is a 29 year old, and twice as old as I am, I take that complement back. I could easily say the same about a seven-year-old, but never would, since I'm a gentleman, and I have a life.

Meet Jim E. Jimmy—

2005-06-06T12:25:00.000-04:00

—One of the few in the world who has his very own blog. Since people don’t like him much in person, Jim found that expressing himself through a computer screen was his only way in which to make friends. Everyday he’ll shut himself in a dark room with one companion—his computer. Jim E. Jimmy posts often, perhaps encouraged through the large response from his readers. He’s not a good writer, (nor is he bad), he just has one of the only blogs and happens to touch on subjects that people like to comment on.

Now meet Tim E. Timothy (no, not Timmy, why would you think that?). This man is known especially for his character, and despite the eloquent name provided, Tim’s character is quite boring. Tim has a boring hairstyle and coincidentally enough, a boring lifestyle. He lives in a perfect white house that is kept perfectly clean, that is, except for the mess that his cats leave behind as they live a life of luxury in his home. There are six of them—cats I mean—and since Tim is nothing more lacking in his character than creativity, they all bare the name of ‘Cat’.

Tim is a friend of Jim E. Jimmy. Tim E. Timothy really likes Jim’s blog, but he’d like something more—he’d like to have his own. He asks Jim if it is possible to get his own blog. Jim politely sets one up for him.

Tim writes a lot more than he ever did before since he got his blog. His posts are boring though, because he likes to write about himself, and we all know ‘himself’ is the most boring thing in the world. One of his posts is as follows:

“Today I went to the grocery store. I got some milk (whole percent, cause I’m not very fat), bread (white cause I don’t like the nuts and stuff), and cheese. I like American cheese the best, probably. Sometimes I take off the little packets and eat them plain. When I got back from the grocery store, my neighbor called and said that one of my cats got run over. I cried, and cried, and cried, and cried. ‘Cat’, my cat’s name, was one of my best friends.”

Surprisingly, many people respond to this boring post. Mostly they go off the subject, and talk about how they too, like American cheese, but Tim has comments, and he is very pleased.

Some years have passed, and now everyone has a blog. Everyone is happy. Everyone is glad. They all feel privileged that they get to live through the information age—where they can easily be heard. It’s a pity that this happiness didn’t last. Everyone has a blog, and everyone’s blog is just as boring as everyone else’s. Everyone is sick of commenting on other blogs, and everyone wants comments on their own blogs.

If you go to Tim’s site now, (although I’m not quite sure it still exists) you’ll find the number 0 beneath each of his boring posts.

“Danger: Explosive” Signs

2005-06-03T11:25:00.000-04:00

I was going down the highway one sunny day, and noticed a large gas truck with a red sign “Danger! Explosive” printed in large letters on it’s back. I was just thinking of why the sign was there. So I used my highly intellectualized brain, and decided to share my newly found knowledge with my readers, so that they too, will know why the “Danger! Explosive” sign must be on the gasoline trucks.

A.) The signs warn people not to crash into their trucks (since of course it is highly probable that many drivers desire to crash into trucks for mere pleasure, but don’t wish to blow up.)
B.) The signs inform dead people who just accidentally ran into the gas trucks and blew up, the reason why they blew up.
C.) They request that if you are a person that enjoys riding on the top of a gas truck at fifty miles per hour on the highway, please do not smoke.
D.) The signs are there because the Government of the United States forced them to be there, just like Braille on drive up ATM machines (for the blind who can somehow drive.)

Note to tenniseers: The Sikma’s have had a drastic change on the schedule of Friday night (actually, not a change, but lack of communication) and will not be able to make it there. If there is still a large enough group to have a meet (leave a comment saying you will be going) then we’ll have the tennis at the Pinery courts, sometime around seven on Friday night. Sorry, and hope it works out for the rest of you. If you wish to argue some of the details, then by all means, do so.

This Is What He Wrote:

2005-06-01T19:05:00.000-04:00

John sat down by the computer with an icy cold lemonade. He thought for a brief moment, what should I post on? He planned posting on something about penguins, maybe clowns, or just writing complete nonsense since he figured his readers wouldn’t know the difference anyway. But then John took a look outside. He realized it was very nice out there. The sun was shining; there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. John decided he would forget about wasting his time, writing about penguins and all that, and so this is what he wrote.

Note to all interested in ARP tennis: Due to the VT's Graduation for Rachel, we will not have a tennis meet on Saturday, but plan to move it up a day to Fryday night. The destination is unclear as of now, and the date is not in stone, so please express you wishes, concerns, and annoying remarks below.

Christian High School (Illegally) Steals JWS Copyright

2005-05-26T21:50:00.000-04:00

(I thought stealing was always illegal… oh well)

It begins on April 16, 2005. It’s a truly pretty day for Grand Rapids Michigan—but for one man, this day is beautiful. John William Sikma has just bought the rights to Gordon Miskins story and face, and has just finished the article on those two things, giving it the title, “Random Soap Opera of the Week”. In the essay, he contains the mostly true details about Gordon Miskin and his relationship problems. He sets his pen down by the finished essay, and sighs happily. Although John is not superiorly proud of his work, he has grown fond of it, and the last thing he wants is someone to steal his work. It’s a pity that that’s exactly what happens.

Let’s move ahead, to the 22 of May, inside Chicago’s Civic Opera Building. Nearly a month has passed since the “Random Soap Opera of the Week’s” publication on JWS. John has nearly forgotten the fondness he once had for his article, and is enjoying the Opera. Perhaps he would have forgotten it completely—that is, if his personal advisor did not lean over to his ear and whisper something in the middle of the show.

Whatever it is the man whispers, it makes John William Sikma jump from his seat, almost as if the man has prickly whiskers, or is chewing Skittles in his ear. However, standing up isn’t enough for John, and he begins to scream. His shriek penetrates the opera theater; the sound is even louder than the fat lady singing on the stage. It doesn’t take more than a second before he is tossed out in the streets of Chicago for his ill behavior. What JWS had heard was simply this: not only had someone illegally copied his article on Gordon Miskin’s relationship, but had plastered it all over the walls throughout the Plymouth Christian High School. John’s copyrights had been violated. John continues to scream in the streets of Chicago. He out does the cities volume until a woman with a brick in her purse promptly whacks him over the head. The words whispered in his ear, are the worst words he has ever heard.

The story continues some days later, May 24 to be precise. The once quiet little white house on Lake Michigan Drive is filled with reporters and cameras today. A portly reporter with a bushy brown beard is the first in line to ask John about the incident. It looks as if John will not respond, but eventually he does, very slowly and depressively: “I am disgusted with the barbarous behavior from these so-called Christians. They have neglected the fact that my work, along with the Time Magazine image, has been, and always will be copyrighted. These students have truly stolen my work and have gained glory and credit where the credit is due only to me. I’m hurt, I’m disappointed, and I’m entirely mad, and—and… hurt. And you my friend have a very bushy beard.”

It’s now… today, May 26, 2005. Things have quieted down quite a bit on Lake Michigan Drive. The puddle of John’s tears slowly dries up. Sometimes you’ll see the Kleenex box off the shelf, but only on sad remembrance of the incident. I ask if it’s all right for a brief interview. When John nods his head, I slowly walk into the room and ask him if there is anything he wants to say to the Plymouth High School members; maybe to make things clear, or to clear things up.

He replies solemnly, as a soft voice heard after a loud train’s passed, “Hmmma…. He whumm… mmmm dumm de.”

I’m not fully sure what he means by these words. Perhaps he is saying, “I’m still sad, but I’m out of tears,” or on the other hand, “I forgive, and now I’ll forget. No law suits or hard feelings.” Of course, Bob B. Bobby, PhD in languages and McDonalds Burgers, persists that he was speaking in Hong Kongian (which we know as Chinese), and further more interprets it as, “Yo—what up dawg?”

Note: If anyone wishes to copy this article, you can e-mail John at jwsikma@gmail.com, and who knows, maybe John will allow you to copy it without too much exertion. If this warning isn’t enough for the stubborn Plymouthians, they can scroll down to the bottom of the page, and view our copyright. Thank you!

ARP Tennis for Saturday Canceled

2005-05-25T15:29:00.000-04:00

The Saturday Tennis Meet for the ARP is canceled. Yesterday, Evangeline Lanning, Peter Sikma and I went to witness the quality of Union’s Tennis facilities, and it turns out, they’re not all that great as they’re made out to be.

Peter believes that the tennis quarts changed since the last time he visited them, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on that change. “I’ve been here,” He said as he kicked a tuft of weeds on the former tennis field, “And this is not what Union looked like.”

What Peter couldn’t quite put his finger on, was the fact that the tennis quarts were grassy and didn’t have nets. If they did change, then this question comes to mind, what happened to the old quarts? Evangeline Lanning expressed her opinion on the matter after she viewed the fields.
“I’m not an expert on Tennis, but could it be that the field was abducted by aliens?”

Whether she’s right or not, we’ll never really know. We do know that the ARP Tennis Meet for Saturday cannot take place at Union and that’s a fact. Bob B. Bobby, a pedestrian who appeared from the ground posed an option for the ARP through these dim circumstances.
“Although the tennis scheduled for this Saturday will be canceled for Union Hills, we could move the destination to John Ball,” He said as he stooped to weed the tennis quart.
Bob’s right; we wouldn’t want to stop the meet just because Union won’t work for our use, especially since Birny wishes to beat us all. Please express your opinion on the matter.

Note: QUARTS WAS SPELLED INCORECTLY ON PURPOSE

War Comes to an End- JWS Victorious

2005-05-23T17:46:00.000-04:00

It was a long and bloody battle some days ago, but through it all, the JWS team prevailed. The revolution began when James Lanning proclaimed vice presidency of the blog, and that little spark of the disire of power, triggered a flame that polluted the commenting room. The readers, with their lust of power, almost forced the Government of the penguin, Bob B. Bobby, and the President John W. Sikma out of the official JWS office, but they all failed. John came back, triumphant over all, carrying his stuffed penguin “Nameless”. He did gain one thing from the war, and that was the fact that no one can be trusted, not even our readers. John will be careful in the future. Sure, out burst of the like will arise again from the flames of humanity, but John will take care to delete any such sparks that would in due time make flames.

Now, in order to forget war, and in order of pure randomness, here is a photo of Ben and James, flying over the Ganges River:

Note: this image has not been revised in any way. What you see is real in itself.

Rules of Good Writing

2005-05-19T12:47:00.000-04:00

George Orwell was probably one of the best writers of the 20th Century, known mostly for his opposition against Communism. In one of his articles, “Politics and the English Language” I picked out a good list of rules that I attempt to use in my daily writing, and encourage my other readers as well to use. Perhaps it may be helpful to my readers, and perhaps Birn will be pleased that I’m trying to bring the youth back, so that they don’t “drink juice from a bag.” Whatever that means.

1.) Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.

2.) Never use a long word where a short one will do.

3.) If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.

4.) Never use the passive when you can use the active.

5.) Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.

6.) Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.

Random Note: Since the president of this site was not completely satisfied with the names suggested for the penguin, he has decided to leave him nameless. Thank you anyway.

Back to Normal

2005-05-15T21:52:00.000-04:00

Well folks, things are looking normal at JWS again. If you noticed the banner, you’ll see that it’s cleaned up quite nicely. At one time the JWS banner was infested with evil penguins, seeking to destroy the entire site. Now only one of those creatures remains on the banner. Yes—JWS is back to normal for the most part, but it took a lot of work, and that’s why we need an account of it all.

It was easy for me to be angry and order the execution of the penguins (a Lesson from Nature, 2 posts below), but that was before I saw the order in action. It was a cool Saturday night when I leafed through the pages of the phone book to locate an exterminator for my little job with the penguins. That’s when I saw the words “Bob B. Bobby—Vet”. I was well informed about how veterinarians eradicate animals through quick painless injections, and that’s exactly what I wanted for the penguins on the banner. I dialed the number under the name, and discussed the matter over with Bob B. Bobby himself. He said he could do it the next day. After the conversation was over, I set the phone back on its hook, and took a sigh of relief—my site would be in good shape in a day. I was relieved, yes, if only I knew what happened the next day.

When tomorrow evolved into today, I began wondering how the progress was going with Bob B. Bobby. I entered the site—Bob wasn’t there, but I hardly noticed. My eyes were drawn to what was on the floor, and what I saw there was horrible. The penguin’s fate will not be shown through photographs for their disturbing sight they hold, nor articulated through words, which would be just as disturbing. I fell back in horror—this wasn’t a vet’s work, how could it be? Well folks, it turns out Bob. B. Bobby was a vet, but this one fought in a land war with Asia, and is known as a veteran.

Well, it was over, and what could I do? The job was done, and that was that. I set about to cleaning it up, and what can I say? It was a messy job. There was only one intact penguin left from the remains of the upsetting scene, so I decided to taxidermy it and keep it as a reminder to all who attempt to infest this web blog. (It should also be a good mascot, and a very harmless one.) The guts were transferred to John Ball Zoo, but the fat of the penguins remained, and I thought it was only fair if I donated them to some organization that could profit from them. I made an agreement with the “Dove Soap Company” and said I’d deliver the blubber immediately. I felt really good about my donation; so good I almost named a church “Saint John” after myself, but thought better of it. Perhaps that was because my personal advisory informed me that the fat was donated to the wrong organization by accident. I won’t give you the name of that organization, because it might trouble you, but I will say this, I’m never going to eat Dove Chocolate again.

It took a lot of work to have JWS back in order, ladies and gentlemen, but the work is done, and that’s what counts. There’s just one thing I have to ask before I go, and that is, what should we name the new JWS penguin now that he’s here to stay as the mascot?

Smile from Ear to Ear, Disapears Year After Year

2005-05-13T18:57:00.000-04:00

James Wilkinson Lanning had a gift, and his greatest fear was that his gift would be taken away. James had the remarkable ability to smile from ear to ear… literally. His 5-inch smile won the ASAA (American Smile Award of America) three times in a row. His smile won great titles all around America. New York Times called it “Better than Julia Roberts” while the Chicago Tribune went further to proclaim, “Wonderful! Pure magic.” It was no wonder that when it gradually contracted, he cried for the first time since Benjamin Sikma took his crush Sarah Blank. (Her last name has been changed due to super secret reasons that cannot be mentioned.)

It was no doubt that his gigantic smile reduced to that of a mere grin. But a mystery still remains, how did it shrink? Doctors are not sure about this. Quake Peterson, a scientist from Grinning University brought his hypotheses on the matter. He said it was caused by facial augmentation, which would cause the facial vicinity elongation which in sequence would overpower the oral vicinity, reducing the span of grin by half. Also the proportional value compared to the recently increased facial intensification could have diminished with the misapprehension of the visual aspect. Although no one’s quite sure what this scientific jargon means, we have a pretty good hunch that it has something to do with his growth.

What you say? How can growing take away such a good gift? How can growth destroy great abilities? How can growth be bad? Ah, for this answer, we must look at history. Think of Charlotte Church, the young girl who had the opera voice and attained the title “Voice of an Angel.” What happened when she grew? Ah! Her voice wasn’t so amazing for a teenager. Think of Shirley Temple. She was cute and everyone loved her acting, but what happened when she grew up? She wasn’t so cute was she? Things are starting to make sense, are they not? Growth can be an unfortunate event (not a series of unfortunate events.) That’s what happened to James Wilkinson Lanning… he grew. Mr. Bob B. Bobby, a local bystander said this after a JWS interview after he took a drag on his cigar:

“It was a tragedy, not just a tragedy, but a really big one. Well actually, it was more then a really big tragedy it was… more like…like—I—crap!” (By the way, happy birthday James)

A Lesson from Nature

2005-05-10T21:45:00.000-04:00

I have learned a very rare and valuable lesson from nature: allowing a “cute” little penguin to reside on a web banner results to a disaster beyond the imagination. They may seem like cute little creatures that only want a hug, but there is more to a penguin than meets the eye. Their true intention is to infest entire web blogs, and they will succeed if I do not act. It started with just one, cute little penguin… just one. How could I resist? After all, what would be the problem with a cute little penguin on my page? (I should have listened to Brian, ahem* I mean anonymous.) But then, after a brief period, the penguin’s relatives and friends moved their habitation to my banner. Perhaps they think they can get away with it, perhaps they think I’m a push over. Well let them hear this: penguins may be able to touch the hearts of females better than I can, but they can’t touch my heart. No one’s using the JWS banner as a habitation. After all, penguins shouldn’t be attracted to green fire, should they? I plan on removing them from my blog, using one of two methods to achieve this:

Plan A.) We can work on the migration proposal, safely removing the penguins to another site that fits the habitation they require (I’ve talked to the president of Linox, and he says he might be able to work something out)

Plan B.) The second plan is the extermination scheme, destroying the penguins and donating their organs to the John Ball Zoo in Grand Rapids (the method of extermination has not yet been decided, but we’ll try to do it as quickly and as neatly as we can)

I know this will be a shock to my readers, but the banner cannot remain as it is. If anyone wants to express their ideas, hopes, questions, or protest, let me assure them that they will be heard.

Penguin???

2005-05-06T17:00:00.000-04:00

Ah yes, the people at JWS are doing what they can about the penguin, but we’re not entirely sure how it got on the banner. Mr. Bob B. Bobby, our web designer believes that the image arrived through an infectious bug. This hypothesis has been denied though, considering other blogs have not been contaminated by it. Another speculation is that the image infiltrated our systems by means of a bored hacker, finding no one else to annoy. Either way, we at JWS have decided to leave the penguin there, since the female readers will protest against his extermination. We also believe he needs a home, and we at JWS are always welcoming people here. (We’re also hopeful that he might just die off anyway since all the blood is draining to his head).

Miracle... or just lucky?

2005-04-30T18:23:00.000-04:00

Adolf Hitler, April 20, 1889 - April 30, 1945
- The Sixtieth Anniversary of His Suicide -

Berlin, Germany, April 30, 1945. Russian artillery and planes blast the German capitol without relent into an inferno. Flames sweep across the once proud city, devouring everything in their path. The large buildings and bunkers crumble to rubble and ash, leaving thick smoke and dust to swirl in the wind. All that is heard is an irregular pound on the earth as shells shake the city, and between the deafening poundings, is the low roar of the flames that roam the streets. But underneath the burning city, in a thirty feet thick concrete bunker, there isn’t a sound; you wouldn’t even sense the events on the surface. Eva Braun, Adolf Hitler’s mistress and newlywed, lies dead on a sofa in the private quarters after taking arsenic. Hitler himself lies on the cold floor, with a smoking pistol in a limp hand. It was finally over; Nazi Germany had died along with the dictator.

I couple of months ago I did a speech on the assassination attempts on Adolf Hitler. The more I studied, the more attempts I found. I made a disturbing discovery—no one could kill Hitler—no one—that is, except himself. Two questions came to mind: was it a miracle that he couldn’t be killed, or was he just lucky? So here is the story of Hitler in short, and the “miraculous” escapes of death he encounters. So let us begin at the start.

Futile. Unsuccessful. Failure. Vain. Those were the words that burned in Hitler’s early life. Ever since his dream to become an artist failed, he suffered continuously falling to the state of homelessness, blaming who he thought were the Jews for not accepting him as an artist in the Academy of Fine arts, Vienna. But blaming got him nowhere, and he soon began to doubt that he had a reason to live.

But World War I broke out, and that’s when Hitler found a reason for living, he was a soldier, and a good one. Unlike other soldiers, who loathed the bloodshed of war, and only wished to go home in one piece, Hitler didn’t mind—indeed, he enjoyed it. Where would he be if the war did not continue? On the streets, in the shelters, seeking food and shelter? Hitler belonged in the trenches, and as far as he was concerned, the war could go on forever, it gave him a reason to live—but unfortunately for the sake of Europe’s future, it gave Hitler no reason to die.

Hitler fought furiously, bravely, and stupidly. He would often run up through a wall of bullets fearlessly. Men could be falling down without relent in the battlefield, but not Adolf, he didn’t receive a scratch. He later recalled a battle scene to an acquaintance in Munich:

“Everyone is waiting impatiently for the command, “Forward”… we crawl on our stomachs to the edge of the forest… Four times we advance and have to go back; from my whole batch one remains, beside me, [and] finally he also falls. A shot tears off my right coat sleeve, but like a miracle I remain safe and alive…”

Like a miracle… yes, if you consider the protection of a future devil a miracle, then yes. But remaining alive in a war can’t be considered a ‘narrow escape’ and wouldn’t have a reason to be in this article. There was one noteworthy incident in the war that could, however, be considered a ‘narrow escape’. During the year of 1916, Hitler was eating among fellow comrades at a table. Hitler claimed that a voice in his head urged him to depart from the table. He did so, and after taking twenty yards of paces, he witnessed a stray shell landing at the table he had left. The explosion did not spare a single soldier.

On October 14, 1918, Hitler was fighting in a trench when the gas alarm sounded. The gas found a leak in Hitler’s mask, around the goggles. After excruciating pain to his eyes, Hitler fell to the ground blind. But the doctors said he was lucky: if the gas had gotten into his lungs, he would have been worse than blind--he would have slowly choked to death. After a month in the hospital, he began to recover—but only in body. When he heard the news that Germany had to surrender to the allies, he cried for the first time since his mother’s death. Thoughts burned in his brain: the war had made him somebody, and now, Germany being defeated, made him no one. That’s all he was now, a blind nobody. When his sight slowly recovered, that’s when Hitler decided to rebuild Germany—that’s when he became a politician.

Hitler, the former painter, tramp, and soldier—the quiet nobody, found a talent he never knew he had—the use of speech. He soon found that it was not only a means of communication, but also a tool of power. How could he control the minds he spoke to? Hitler spoke with such emotion and enthusiasm, that those who heard him became bewitched. To illustrate his powerful speaking would be impossible in words, but to say Hitler would lose five pounds in one evening of rabid speaking might create the picture without giving detail. And so he used this talent in his rise to power, and he used it well. Hitler followed the road to power, and soon became the ‘Fuehrer’, the leader of Germany. And it is amazing, and yet disturbing to see the many plots on his life, and to see all of them failures:

1921, July, Munich – Shots fired at Hitler during a rally at the Hofbauheas
1923, July, Munich – Leipzig Shots fired at his car
1923, March 15, Munich – Shots fired at the train car Hitler
1932, March, Weimar – June Ambush on a road near Stralsund
1932, March 4, Kongingsberg – Kurt Luttner attempted to kill Hitler with a bomb
1933-34 – At least 10 attempts or plots came to the attention of the authorities, no additional details known
1933, Obersalzberg – Man in a SA-leaders uniform is arrested and a gun found on him
1936, Nuremberg – Helmut Hirsch, a Jewish student, confessed to having been sent by Strasser to kill Hitler with a bomb
1937, Berlin – Josef Thomas planned to shoot Hitler, but was caught by Gestapo
1938, April, Munich – Alexander Foote, an Englishman working as a spy for the SSR investigated the possibilities of assassinating Hitler, planned on killing Hitler to his favorite restaurant, ‘Osteria Bavaria’
1938, April, Berlin – F.W. Heinz planed to make kill for Hilter
1938, April, Munich – Maurice Bavaud made several attempts on Hitler’s life, but failed and was arrested
1938-39, Berlin – Colonel Noel Mason-MacFarlane, investigated the possibilities of assassinating Hitler, but his ideas were rejected
1938, Nov, Munich Georg Elser planted a bomb in Burgerbraukeller to kill Hitler at 21:20 (Hitler left at 21:00) The bomb killed eight people
1938, Nov 8, Berlin – Generaloberst Franz Halder, planned to shoot Hitler
1940, July, Paris – Oberleutnant d. R. Fritz-Deitlof Graf von der Sculenburg planned to kill Hitler during the planned victory parade in Paris
1934, July, Walki – General der Gegirgstruappen Hubert Lanz planned to arrest Hitler when he came to visit troops near Poltawa
1943, Mar, Smolensk – Major Friedrick Konig planned to shoot Hitler during his visit in Smolensk
1943, Mar, Smolensk – Generalmajor Henning bon Treschok and others placed a bomb on Hitler’s Condor, but it failed to explode
1943, Mar 13, Berlin – Oberst Rudolf-Christoph Freigher von Gersdorff attempted to kill Hitler with a bomb
1943, Dec, Wolfshanze – Hauptamn Axel Freiherr von dem Bushe-Striethorst planned to kill Hitler at opera, but show was postponed
1944, Dec – Wolfshanze Ewald von Keist planned to kill Hilter with bomb, but again, show was postponed
1944, July, Wolfshanze – Oberst Claus Schenk Graf von Stauffenberg brought bomb to his position in Wolfshanze
1944, July 11, Obersalzberg – Stauffenberg again brought bomb, but Hermann Goring and Heinrich Himmler were not present, and Stauffenberg wanted all three

It has been said that if you destroy the head, the body will die. For Stauffenberg and the other plotters, it was just that—kill Hitler, and the Nazi party would collapse. But it was easier said than done. In fact, Stauffenberg and every other plotter found it was impossible.

On July 20, Stuaffenberg’s plan, the last, and greatest plot on Hitler’s life, went into action. Hitler, Stauffenberg, and top military aids were meeting in a conference room in Rastenburg, East Prussia. Stauffenberg left the room at 12:30 claiming he needed to make an urgent phone call. When he was outside the room, he witnessed the explosion at exactly 12:42, and feeling relived and convinced that Hitler was killed, he flew to Berlin to join the other plotters. From there they would seize the Supreme Command as soon as Hitler was reported dead, and make peace with the allies. But that was before Stauffenberg knew the events that took place after he left the table…

An attending officer at the conference table nudged the briefcase over out of his way to the far side of the massive oak support of the table. This oak support shielded Hitler from the explosion, thus, saving his life. The only injury Hitler received was dealt to his arm, which for the rest of his life remained limp. Three others at the table took the bomb’s blast, meant for Hitler, and died instantly. But it was a failure, and the result was poisonous: Stauffenberg, and about 200 other plotters were tried and executed for their attempt on his life. Most of them died horribly; hung with piano wire and skewered on meat hooks like cattle by Hitler’s orders. The Stauffenberg plot had failed, and Hitler had won. Another “miracle”, and Hitler knew it:

“Look at my uniform! Look at my burns! When I reflect on this, I must say that to me it is obvious that nothing is going to happen to me; undoubtedly it is my fate to continue on my way and to bring my task to completion. It is not the first time I have escaped death miraculously. First there were times in the first war, and during my political career there were series of marvelous escapes. What happened here to today is the climax! And now, having escaped death in such an extraordinary manner, I am more than ever convinced that the great cause I serve will be brought through its present perils and that everything can be brought to a good end.”

No one could kill Hitler—no one—except himself. A year later, April 30, 1945, Hitler was found dead in his bunker. So the question is, was it a miracle that he couldn’t be killed, or was it just luck? Well, I don’t believe in luck, I believe everything happens in accordance to the purpose of God’s will. And if you think of it in that light, God let him live. But when I think on this, I sometimes wonder why it was God’s will. After all, Hitler spurned his Nazis to exterminate the Jews of occupied Europe, and he nearly succeeded. Hitler invented the word genocide, and is remembered from it. Hitler killed 8 million ruthlessly. This is something that in the past would be considered horrible and will be remembered for thousands of years. But there is a lesson to learn from this dictator, and that is what Hitler was and is: a lesson—Justice can be redefined when man is king.

- “If ever the taming talisman, the cross, should shatter, primitive fury will be loose once again… the senseless frenzy of the Berserk, of which the Nordic poets sing and tell so much. That talisman is decaying and the day will come when it will fall miserably to pieces. The old stone gods will then rise from their long forgotten rubble and wipe the dust of a thousand years from their eyes; and Thor will leap up in the end and shatter the Gothic cathedrals with his giant hammer." –Heinrich Heine, On the History of Religion and Philosophy in Germany (1835)

Things that annoy JWS in…

2005-04-29T15:53:00.000-04:00

A dentist:
- When dentists refer to me as ‘honey’, ‘big guy’, and ‘buddy’ when they know full well that I’m a teenager
- Dentists who shove more tools then my mouth can hold (I sometimes wonder if they’ll cram in a softball purely out of curiosity)
- The dentists nose hairs
The public:
- When people laugh like a machine gun
- When male home schoolers neglect the fact that they too, as normal human beings, must shave (unless of course they’re stranded on an Island)
- A left handshake
The movies:
- Animal Films (If they make another dog-as-hero movie, I will get very angry)
- When people who quote humorous movies expect me to laugh when I have no idea what they’re talking about
The internet:
- The overused phrase “LOL”
- Email surveys that people expect me to waste my time filling out
- Websites that give away ‘free’ Ipods™
The radio:
- National Public Radio’s in-between “music” (actually, I despise the program completely)
- Country music in general
- Commercials that attempt and fail to be humorous

Random Note: We haven’t had a serious post here at JWS for a while. So tomorrow, April 30, be ready for The 60th Anniversary of Adolf Hitler’s Suicide… that should be serious. Don’t miss it…

2005-04-25T18:51:00.000-04:00

Do you ever get it when you're doing something really, really, really important, and then your cat sits on exactly what you're doing? I'll never know the psychology of a cat...

Random Soap Opera of the Week:

2005-04-21T21:33:00.000-04:00

After the 28,569,421th time of breaking up and reuniting, we all wondered—will she ever stop lovin’ that sensual beast?

Gordon Miskin is a model from South Africa, but that’s not what puts him in this article. When Constance Marshall met him at the Plymouth High School, she knew she was a lucky girl. “When he came into the class room my heart just started beating,” she said at an interview last month. “I knew that I’d never be able to get close to him, and so I began to stop trying.” But somehow, luck intervened, and this is how the two met: “I needed a pencil, so Gordon handed me one. And then we fell in love.” Ever since that day, Connie and Gordon were together all the time. They walked together, they studied together, they biked together—they even shared the same cherry flavored slushy together.

“It was good, too good,” said Gordon at a male model convention. And he was right, because after three months Connie broke off the relationship. Connie remembers it clear… crystal clear, “We were at the beach during Christmas break. It was cold and my shoulders began to shiver, so Gordon took off his coat for me. Then my ears got cold, so Gordon gave me his hat. And then my feet got cold, so he took of his shoes and socks and gave them to me. And then I saw his hairy feet, and then it was over.” It was a stupid reason, but Connie couldn’t stand it. “He was like a hobbit.” She added in disgust.

It was six hours later when she remembered Gordon’s vivid picture: his shazzy orange hair, his yellowish/green eyes, and that Gordon-like-face, “Then I knew we had to be together again. I called him, and said I was sorry.” And then they were back together again… just like that. But not together for long… for again, there relationship was ruined. But then it was reunited. But then fate broke it off. But then luck reunited it. Now, I could write about Gordon and Connie’s relationship in full, but you can find the complete story in Gordon’s book, “My Struggle.” In the 123,345,678,213,345,865,124-page book, Gordon explains what happened in the 'complex' relationship. (“My Struggle”, which in German is titled, “Mien Kampf” is a best seller to Neo Nazis, although no one’s sure why.)

Little would the couple/singles know that their relationship would eventually win a world record for being the most shattered and repaired of all. Gordon and Connie broke up a total of 28,569,421 times, and that’s amazing. “Either the couple was psycho, or just plain dumb,” said Bob B. Bobby, the relationship counselor of the two, “But I don’t care. I made a killing off it…”

So the question is… will she ever stop lovin’ that sensual beast? To this day, were not quite sure.

[Front Cover “Mona Lisa” of Gordon.]

Brilliant, Just Brilliant!

2005-04-19T22:51:00.000-04:00

What I want to know is why do some people come up with the most brilliant money making schemes? If you go to savetoby.com , you'll see exactly what I mean. The Save Tobey project is a sinister and sick way of making money... I wish I had thought of it. An anonymous man, who writes about a rabbit named Tobey, has threatened to kill it if he does not receive $50 thousand dollars by the end of June. What? You say. How is he going to do that? You ask. Well, all I will say is his plan is working. This anonymous person has already received around $25 thousand dollars... halfway there. He's also received some death threats from animal lovers. Brilliant, just brilliant.

What happened to "The Best of the Worst"?

2005-04-15T20:54:00.000-04:00

It was around two years ago when my first album, “The Best of the Worst- Politically Incorrect™” hit the charts as the least sold CD since biblical times… and that’s a long time ago. Yes, it’s a tragic thing, but it’s rational… the CD wasn’t produced very effectively. I don’t mean to be critical or anything, but I think the main part of the blame can be laid on two things.

The first to blame: our art director—Mr. Bob B. Bobby (don’t get me wrong Bob, but I think you’re a moron). Jerry Winston, my producer said it like this, “A man with a name like that could never be an artist.” When Bob was showing me his plan for the album, I looked at the design and said, “Hmm, ok, now show me the real one.” Bob gave me a stern look, and shouted, “One of these days I’ll show you all!” and ran from the room. We finally used Bob’s black and white style for my first CD, (shown bottom) because he swore to commit suicide if I didn’t. So the black and white style gave my CD a 1940s jazz band look, and that’s one of the reasons my CD was a flop.

The second to blame: our producer— Dr. Heywood U. Buzzoff. My producer made several mistakes in getting the CD out in the open. I always asked Heywood how well the advertising was going, because I didn’t want this to become just another flop. He would always say, “We’re on a budget, and if we waste our money for this—you and you’re CD will be the flop, not just this crappy CD you call ‘a work of art’. If your voice would change, then I wouldn’t be so pessimistic.” (Politically Incorrect™ was produced before I went through puberty, so my voice was high.)

One month after “Politically Incorrect™” was released, we all soon realized that my CD was a flop… and to make matters worse, the payment I promised from the CD prophets couldn’t be offered… unless it was from my pocket. I was in debt, I was a failure, and now my CD and I were both a flop, and all because of Mr. Bob B. Bobby and Heywood U. Buzzoff. I was the comedy of America (note magazine covers).

So “The Best of the Worst™” failed, but the name is still copyrighted, so you can’t steal it, or I’ll have Birn the lawyer sue you all.

2005-04-15T20:51:00.000-04:00

Time magazine, giving John the title, "Brown Cow," and asking the question of "what will happen next for JWS and company."

2005-04-15T20:47:00.000-04:00

World magazine reporting the fall of "The Best of the Worst" and JWS

2005-04-15T20:45:00.000-04:00

Black & White design made by Bob B. Bobby

Whatever Happened to ARP Pride?

2005-04-13T21:12:00.000-04:00

“So, what church do you go to?” Asked a fisherman near the Coast of Mile Lake in Camp Concordia. It didn’t take more than a split second when I blurted with pride, “The Associate Reformed Presbyterian Church of Grand Rapids.” Yes, I blurted with pride, but that was 5 years ago… things have changed since then.

1999—it was a time to cry, it was a time to rejoice. The CRC Church of Cutlerville had fired Reverend Ray B. Lanning from the pulpit, and that extermination caused a split. Although it was a tragic moment for the Lannings and their friends, we never knew this split was a blessing in disguise. Less than half the congregation remained in the CRC, the other half went with Rev. Lanning. And that, in a summed up way, is how the ARP came to life, on Tuesday, February 9, 2000.

I wasn’t the only person who was blurting with pride about our new church. James Lanning, son of the Reverend Ray B. Lanning, once produced a CD for my older brother. Hidden on the first track in the Mission Impossible theme were the whispered words, “ARP owns you.” Jeff Wykstra, the future treasurer of our church, sang, “I’m proud to be, a Michigan ARP!” Even the youth of the church participated in this pride. It became a fad for most of the children to collect the colorful ARP bulletins that were produced, almost as if collecting Baseball Cards or Beanie Babies. It became a fad… just a fad. The peculiar thing about fads is you can tell that they will eventually fade out of our life, but at the time, they seem so fun and exciting, you don’t even think about their future place. But “fad” is just “fade” without an “E.”

Things are different today—you might say that pride faded way. Now if you go to the ARP, it’s quiet and simple. The bulletins once were two pages, filled with news and information, generally cheerful. Now the news hardly fills one page. The congregation once was filled with energy, sometimes with a pen and paper in their hand, ready to scribble down the words of preachers words. But now the rows are filled with snores, and nodding heads, nodding only to fight their sleep. The many rows once were packed full with members, eager to hear the Word. Now there are fewer rows, and most hold not those members, but a lonely Psalter. It’s a tragedy you might say… but possibly that pride wasn’t such a pleasant thing in God’s eyes, and maybe that’s why we are who we are. Perhaps it is as Solomon said in the proverbs, “Pride goeth before the fall.”

So maybe the ARP leaned her lesson. Just the other day, a friend in my trumpet section asked me, “John, what church do you go to?” I turned to her, and I replied simply, “The ARP.”

Somebody Needs to Tell John To Update...

2005-04-09T23:13:00.000-04:00

Well James, here I am, updating.

This won't be a very long post, since I have to get some sleep so I can get up early for church. But I just want to tell you that I am indeed alive, no matter how much it seems I am not. And I want to remind you that for most bloggers (save for the over obsessed computer slobs out there) there is a time when blogging must be paused. I think there are some reasons that make a blogger pause:

1.) He might have a life,
2.) He work for a living in that life, and
3.) He might want to spend that life away from a boring computer screen, and into reality.

Speaking of reality, hasn't it been great here in MI? I'm not the person who normally talks about the weather, especially since I don't want to lose your attention, but being a summer person, I couldn't think of anything more that I am thankful than the sunshine.

And to everyone coming to YPCU tomorrow night… be aware that I am doing the topic on "Giving". And in addition, I’d like to say to Brian, no, giving is not just for girls.

Ok, so maybe this was a not-so-nice post after a couple of weeks, maybe you were expecting more from JWS, maybe this just sickens you that after John having a months worth break, considers this a post. Well then, maybe you were wrong. Anyway, farewell everyone, I'll be back with more, and thanks for keeping up JWS with your comments! BTW, who’s “Bonnie whoever”, and how’d you find JWS? (Sometimes I wonder how these random folks get here, but hey, seems like a nice chap, I’ll chat if you ever get a hold of this.)

TTYL!

I know what you're thinking...

2005-02-28T22:31:00.000-05:00

Either John's a big fat liar, or he's just a big fat. Well, the truth is- I made a promise I couldn't keep. I couldn't upload those images, for one reason, I was technically grounded, which is a term that is rarely uttered in the Sikma home, so you can guess it was a strong condemnation on my part. I probably wouldn't be able to write this entry in my blog, but, I am anyway. So... I'm sorry, and I'm not sure if those pictures will ever be up, but you understand, don't you?

I want to tell everyone about my life but I'm afraid much will be left very vague, and at the end of this post, you'll be very curious. I'm going through a very difficult time, and I have just lost a good friend, but its a complicated matter, and I won't talk about it. Now I must move on to my schedule which is also making my life very difficult. I have to write a persuasive speech for Friday, and I have no idea what to write it on. And what do the viewers at home think? I am working on a topic for our Youth Group, it's on gossiping, and all is going well, I'm glad I got two weeks to prepare. I'm in band, and I want to challenge, but we have an annoying policy that only allows us to challenge if we practice the top five of the band. Yes, it stinks, I won't ever get the opportunity, considering I'm so busy. I started piano lessons with my sister, and if you can imagine having your older sister doing piano lessons, perish the thought. I'm also taking profession of faith, and at times I feel a little unprepared. If you can, pray for me at this time, I'll be needing it.

Well, here I am telling you what I have to do, and not doing it, so let me go now, so that I can get things done. Sorry again everyone!

Demotivator of the week:

2005-02-14T23:22:00.000-05:00

Bob Productions Photo Gallery

2005-02-07T22:59:00.000-05:00

Many of you I believe have heard about film productions that have been going about with the Miskin and Sikma family. Recently, Bob Productions signed us on to produce some eloquent films, eloquent that is, neglecting the fact that the films are completely plot less, and rarely ever have a moral. Contained in this post, is the photo gallery from the most recently produced film, “The Cursed Coat”. Staring Gordon Miskin as Bob. Peter Sikma as James, the assistant of Bob, and the doctor. John Sikma as the Rapper and the FBI agent(s). Scarlett as the pastor, drunk person (who gets notably blown up) and of course as the doctor’s personal assistant. And last but not least, Morgan as the Narrator. Although the film has not been released, and has much work to be done, here is the gallery of most classical scenes that will be famed for centuries to come from Bob Productions and the Miskin/Sikma Family, “The Cursed Coat.”

2005-02-07T22:55:00.000-05:00

A- The film begins with the closet door slowly opening, and revealing the coat-the cursed coat.

2005-02-07T22:54:00.001-05:00

B- The story of the Cursed Coat is told by the Narrator, and she takes us back a "long time ago", to the first view of Gordon set with an old-fashioned camera setting. (Note the cat that Bob gives tender affection to. This is important, it reveals a part of Bobs character- that he loves cats.)

2005-02-07T22:54:00.000-05:00

C- James walks in, and shows that he has killed a lion to make a fur coat. This of course angers Bob, who loves cats.

2005-02-07T22:46:00.000-05:00

D- Bob in turn curses the coat. Some time after this has taken place, James wears it to his church, and after exiting the church building, finds that he has been jumped upon by a villain, and falls to his death down the steps. This shows that the curse really is true, or James just has come across bad luck.)

2005-02-07T22:45:00.000-05:00

E- The white rapper finds the cursed coat, and puts it on to the dismay of our viewers, he wears it to one of his street rapping shows.

2005-02-07T22:44:00.001-05:00

F- After the white rapper dies from the curse, a drunk lady comes across the coat, and removes it from the Rappers dead body.

2005-02-07T22:44:00.000-05:00

G - The curser (Bob, cat lover) and his assistant make a plan to kill the coat wearer. They prepare a bomb, and drive up to her as she walks. (Take note that Peter, playing the assistant, has done what no other actor should do-he has looked at the camera.)

2005-02-07T22:43:00.000-05:00

H - After the bomb is set off, Bob and his bomber assistant make their getaway.

2005-02-07T22:42:00.000-05:00

I - Sadly the drunk lady is left to the destruction of the bomb. (Notice the extreme technique brought in with Peter's pyrotechnic skills. This will, in the future, become a classic photo of Scarlett in her acting career.)

2005-02-07T22:41:00.000-05:00

J - The Smoke clears, and reveals the drunk lady, after the explosion

2005-02-07T22:38:00.000-05:00

K - In this scene we find the FBI agent has found the dead lady. But instead of arresting Bob for killing her, he removes the coat off the victim, and also finding that the coat fits comfortably, leaves the scene of the crime.

2005-02-07T22:37:00.000-05:00

L - Bob, (the curser) watching the coat being again taken away with, finds that he must also do away with the FBI agent, and stabs him with a key.

Random Fond Picture of the Week:

2005-02-07T22:08:00.000-05:00

“In the lap of luxury—South Carolina with the Gentry family. (My family away from family.)

Just Plain Random Picture of the Week:

2005-02-07T22:07:00.000-05:00

"It didn't end in the '60s... hippies still live." (Josiah Gentry, on our way to South Carolina)

When you see a photo like this, you get disturbed...

Guess who's back?

2005-02-07T22:06:00.000-05:00

John… back? Never!

Ah, but that is where you’re wrong! I am back, and back stronger than ever!

It has been a number of weeks since I last posted—actually, it has been a number of weeks since I last deleted this blog. But for some strange occurrences, and a sudden burst of encouragement, I am back, and I believe all of you are surprised. Ever since the elections were over, I was left bereft of the fun I had once had blogging. But I’ve decided to once again come back, and this time produce this blog, with a little less politics, and make it just how blogs should be. Well, not exactly just how blogs should be. Every other blog I’ve read is utterly boring, except of course James’s. But other than that, no other blog has been worth my reading. It is my opinion that most blogs consist merely of ‘the boring things I did today.’ And if anyone’s interested in, ‘the boring things I’ve done today’ then they might return your post with a comment. But seriously, who wants to hear about this stuff? So, I will write this blog, not focusing on politics, nor will I write ‘the boring things I’ve done today’, but I will write everything worth your time, I assure you. I might stop posting after awhile, but, does that mean I’m gone. No! fear not! J.W.S. is back and back for a very long time. So every one, I’m back. But not back as the old Johnny boy, but back stronger then ever. Enjoy J.W.S. ‘s blog… again.

2005-02-06T23:18:00.000-05:00

Everyone has an ugly day... even me sometimes. (Notice my red eyes as contrasted to the brown thanks to Josiah's extreme skill at paintbrush. Also, examine my facial texture. If you notice, my skin is like unto leather. Probably from a suntan.) - Courtesy of Josiah Gentry Corp.